Thursday, November 25, 2010


Happy Thanksgiving to all! I'm laying in bed, on a holiday, unable to sleep. Arg. Perfect day to sleep in. Oh well.

Today is going to be calm. Working on a resume for a new job, sewing, cooking a small meal with Eric, a friend is coming over, and then we going to watch Harry Potter. Relaxing!

Hope you don't stuff your self too bad!

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Sunday, November 21, 2010

Testing email

This is an email test!
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This is a test entry to see if I can actually USE the cool technology that google offers! Here we go...pressing send!

Friday, February 19, 2010

I am a triathlete

I've spent the wee hours of this morning reading through this blog and creating a new one because I am unable to sleep. AT 3:30ish I woke up and my body said it was time to start moving. :)

Reading this blog is interesting. It reminds me of the struggles that I have overcome, and my hopes and dreams.

As of late, I have not felt like a triathlete. More of a couch potato. Ironman to Couch Potato. :)

Hopefully, with rest and relaxation over the next few weeks, my batteries will recharge and I will want to find me again!

Soon, very soon, the race report will be here

I hope, in the next two weeks, to get my race report written. I've had three months now to process and I will finally be able to sit back and relax.....and ponder out loud. :) See you soon!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Pre-game jitters

It's 3:38am and I am sitting at the computer crying. Been up for an hour, with a brain stuck in a loop of worry amd frustration. Did I do enough? Did I ride long enough? Did I eat well enough?Why did I let myself gain so much weight? Why couldn't I have been stronger and stuck to a better eating plan?

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Something has happened the last month. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm up. Like this morning for instance. Work up at 2:20 something. Really? What the fuck do I need to be up at 2:20 for? Nothing but to worry.

This is the first time I have cried lately....must be bottling everything up. I've been trying to stay calm, not waste energy...but in the process I have managed to suck everything fun out of this adventure. I've not allowed myself to get excited, because I never do until something is done. But I was thinking this morning---I don't want to wait to cross the finish line under 17 hours to only THEN start enjoying myself. What a long, hard day that is going to be. It's going to be hard enough doing it happy.

To be honest, I had to get out of bed because I couldn't stand to listen to my inner critic anymore. Thinking of being out on the course wiith this voice for 14 or more hours is tiring. I need to find my happy place and stay there.

I have to trust that I did enough work. That I'm resting enough. That I'm prepared enough.

Yes, I am scared.

I want to be excited, I do! Right now it's pack, organize, plan, finish work, clean the house. Once we get on the plane, hopefully all of this other shit fades and I will focus on the real deal.

Honestly, this always happens, and everything will be just fine, if my past is any indication of my ability to be successful, to push through hard times, to find a new me at the end of the road. I think this is all just pre-game jitters.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

2010 List

Build a workbench in the garage
Run a real marathon
Go deep sea fishing
Go parasailing
get scuba certified and go scuba diving in Mexico
Lose 20 pounds and get ripped
Increase my vocabulary by reading more literature
Attend toastmasters, even if just a few times
Finish Boulder 70.3 in under 6 hours
create a beautiful useable quilt, for myself this time
finish wedding and cruise and mexico vacation scrapbooks
Ride Lookout mountain
Ride as much of Mt. Evans as I can
Ride Elephant Rock Century ride (100 miles)
Compete in Denver Oyster (adventure race in denver)
Learn to kayak
Have a tea party
Race in a long distance relay of some sorts
Go back to hot yoga
Get into therapy and exorcise a few more demons :)
find a job that makes my heart sing and the bank account sing
Volunteer with veterans (either active duty or older)
Expose myself to new music through friends' play lists
Take more photos
go skiing
go camping/backpacking next summer
finish my room