Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Pre-game jitters

It's 3:38am and I am sitting at the computer crying. Been up for an hour, with a brain stuck in a loop of worry amd frustration. Did I do enough? Did I ride long enough? Did I eat well enough?Why did I let myself gain so much weight? Why couldn't I have been stronger and stuck to a better eating plan?

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Something has happened the last month. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm up. Like this morning for instance. Work up at 2:20 something. Really? What the fuck do I need to be up at 2:20 for? Nothing but to worry.

This is the first time I have cried lately....must be bottling everything up. I've been trying to stay calm, not waste energy...but in the process I have managed to suck everything fun out of this adventure. I've not allowed myself to get excited, because I never do until something is done. But I was thinking this morning---I don't want to wait to cross the finish line under 17 hours to only THEN start enjoying myself. What a long, hard day that is going to be. It's going to be hard enough doing it happy.

To be honest, I had to get out of bed because I couldn't stand to listen to my inner critic anymore. Thinking of being out on the course wiith this voice for 14 or more hours is tiring. I need to find my happy place and stay there.

I have to trust that I did enough work. That I'm resting enough. That I'm prepared enough.

Yes, I am scared.

I want to be excited, I do! Right now it's pack, organize, plan, finish work, clean the house. Once we get on the plane, hopefully all of this other shit fades and I will focus on the real deal.

Honestly, this always happens, and everything will be just fine, if my past is any indication of my ability to be successful, to push through hard times, to find a new me at the end of the road. I think this is all just pre-game jitters.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

2010 List

Build a workbench in the garage
Run a real marathon
Go deep sea fishing
Go parasailing
get scuba certified and go scuba diving in Mexico
Lose 20 pounds and get ripped
Increase my vocabulary by reading more literature
Attend toastmasters, even if just a few times
Finish Boulder 70.3 in under 6 hours
create a beautiful useable quilt, for myself this time
finish wedding and cruise and mexico vacation scrapbooks
Ride Lookout mountain
Ride as much of Mt. Evans as I can
Ride Elephant Rock Century ride (100 miles)
Compete in Denver Oyster (adventure race in denver)
Learn to kayak
Have a tea party
Race in a long distance relay of some sorts
Go back to hot yoga
Get into therapy and exorcise a few more demons :)
find a job that makes my heart sing and the bank account sing
Volunteer with veterans (either active duty or older)
Expose myself to new music through friends' play lists
Take more photos
go skiing
go camping/backpacking next summer
finish my room

Dinner menu

I just read Julia's latest post and it reminded me of many ways I have been feeling and questions I have been asking. This also relates to having dinner with Sharon, my triathlon mentor from CWW, last night. She is so awesome! :) And she' coming to Arizona!!

Ok....focus.

I have been stuggling with words to explain what IM means to me and what it has done to my outlook on life, and my llife itself. This all may make no sense--but maybe if I get it out on 'paper" I will find the answers I am looking for. This will be piece-by-piece--like a quilt. :)

Doing Boulder Long Course (70.3 miles) in August was good. It gave me a taste of real mental struggle, and the assurance that I can overcome the voices in my head telling me to stop! "You looked so good, so strong..." is what I heard after BLC. I laughed. The photos do look like I am strong--but inside I was in pieces. More than anything in the world, I just wanted to be done. Didn't want to fight myself anymore. That is the most exhausting part of triathlon for me---winning the mental/emotional battle.

Every year I do something cool. One year it was skydiving, the next it was graduating with a masters degree (and having a gladiator challenge party!). This year it's triathlon, namely IM AZ.
What will next year hold? What is bigger than IM? Of course, literally speaking, other ultra endurance races. UltraMan. Hooking up with Endure to Cure and pounding pavement for three days, to finish and pass out. So this makes me think alot......what am I looking for in my life? Challenge? Why? Bigger and better? At what point is enough, enough? What am I hoping to feel? To find? To BE? I need therapy more than I need more medals. :) I don't know what next year will hold yet, but I am accumulating a list of things to do and try--including building a workbench from wood, creating a real quilt, running a real marathon, and who knows what else.

Training for IM makes me think weird things. Why do people run marathons their whole lives? Don't you get bored after like 5 or 10?

WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANYTHING is what I am getting at. Being with myself most of the week, for 99% of my training, gives me a lot of time to think. And the one thing I think more than anything else is my statement above. Why do we do anything? What does doing something do for us? Why train for IM? WHY NOT??

What about Chrissie Wellington? World Champion IM. At what point is she going to get tired of doing triathlon? Or will she?

Ok, so maybe I am going to get tired of doing triathlon. Not totally, but it does take a shitload of time to train for IM. A first IM is cool! But then what? I think one of the issues is that I love trying new things! LOVE IT! This year I've put doing alot of new things on hold because I am doing new things on a bike, in a lake, and on the pavement. Ok, that's good, though.

Something about going out and riding a bike for 80 miles, followed by a good run, is becoming normal. I am not fearful of that. I look at my schedule and go "Oh, that's going to be a long day." But that's it. This weirds me out so much. I am getting in touch with parts of me that I didn't know were there! What am I going to do with those parts after IM AZ is over? For instance..I can workout for 7 hours straight. When I hear people bitching that they can't get to the gym for thirty minutes, three times a week, I am baffled.

I know I'm jumping around....hang tight.

My body starts to crave long distance. 62 miles today would have been "easy". Even with the hills. I was kind of pissed that I missed it. Going out and running 13 mile with my music is super relaxing. 14 miles is boring, though. Luckily I am running 15 with someone tomorrow.

Maybe my problem is exactly what Julia is dealing with---maybe I am going to be without an identity after IM and I'm scared shitless. Maybe I am going to compare everything I do from now on to IM. Maybe I am not going to have something as cool as IM for a long time. Maybe, just maybe,if I just chill the fuck out, life will present new and exciting opportunities, and this conversation will be void of all meaning. Shit, I am worrying about a future that I don't have mapped out yet.

Whew. See, I knew I'd figure something out.

I do want to say, even though I can't find good words right now, that IM has changed me. I am more outspoken. I am more confident and self-assured. I KNOW I can accomplish things that some people only dream of. I take more risks. But I am still dealing with some demons, too.

And I have learned that I get the most joy in life out of helping others and being with people I love. IM training is often lonely and it's a very selfish journey. I've withdrawn a little too much at times, but I bet my coach would say I need to do it even more--and finish more workouts! :)

I still don't know what to eat for dinner....

Blowing a tire

I have not written to update my blog in what feels like forever. I've been training, working, training more, and finishing up leadership development training.Graduated on Wedneday and now all of that hassle is out of the way for a few months. :)

This weekend is a recovery weekend. Today I only had to ride 60 miles followed by a 30 minute run. I called my buddy Richard and he was already planning on riding 62--so I joined him, on a "flat" course. Yeah, right. It was 31 miles uphill. 31 miles mostly downhill. (I didn't know it though--I thought he was serious about it being flat.) Our pace was awesome. The weather was beautiful. All of the cars decided to stay home--wonderful! Coming down hill, feeling great...all of sudden I hear my tire flat. Shit! Pull over, pull the tire off of the bike--and holy crap! My tire has a big gash in it. No more riding for me! I had a tire patch kit with me, but whatever I hit really did damage. That was a $70 tire, that was less than a month old! Luckily a nice couple biking behind us pulled up and saved me--picked me up and took me to my car. Thanks Chuck and Sally!!

I went straight to the bike shop to get a new tire (this week coming is a HUGE bike week). I told the guy what happened--yeap, the better the tire, the weaker it is. H suggested I get a $20 tire for training. They are a little heavier, but a little more durable for rocks, etc. Bike is fixed. Tubes were on sale--buy one, get one free. Stocked up!

Came home, took a few hour nap. Now I'm sitting here, thinking about dinner---something to fuel my 15 mile run tomorrow. I'm going to make one of my best friends a baby blanket tonight. I'm feeling very Martha Stewart-ish. :) I bought the cutest material, the cutest flannel backing and some nice batting for inside, made out of something all natural and renewable. It's going to be Channing's (the baby) first "green" baby blanket! :)

Hmmmm...I don't really feel motivted to move.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Brrain and Fatigue Connection

I am very curious about the brain and fatigue connection...so I started looking around online to see what people are talking about. I found some interesting (but not scientific) articles that have given me a direction to start looking in....BCAA's, tryptophan and serotonin. :) Here is what I read. IM NOT SAYING ITS RIGHT OR THAT YOU SHOULD DO WHAT THE ARTICLES ARE SAYING!! I just wanted to share what I read in case you are interested in talking with a professional about it.

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In fatigue, it only feels like we’re going to die. The actual physiological risks that fatigue represents are essentially trivial.’’Fatigue, the researchers argue, is less an objective event than a subjective emotion — the brain’s clever, self-interested attempt to scare you into stopping. The way past fatigue, then, is to return the favor: to fool the brain by lying to it, distracting it or even provoking it.

http://hanscschmid.blogspot.com/2009/07/are-ultra-endurance-athletes-out-of.html

Muscle fatigue is caused by the brain. Here are 10 ways to train your brain to delay muscle fatigue.

You know the feeling. You’re two miles into a 5K road race when you begin to feel a burning sensation in your windpipe, a growing heaviness in your legs, and an intense desire to slow down in your mind. The discomfort becomes more intense with each stride. By the time you cross the finish line you have just plain had it. You can barely stand. What causes these intense feelings of discomfort that are always associated with fatigue during hard running (or any other form of exercise)? Sports scientists used to believe that muscle fatigue was caused primarily by acid buildup and energy depletion. But within the past several years a revolution has occurred in the scientific understanding of muscle fatigue. A growing number of experts now believe that muscle fatigue is actually caused primarily by the brain. That’s right: the brain. The best evidence that muscle fatigue starts in the brain comes from studies involving sensors that measure electrical activity in the muscles. The amount of electrical activity in the muscles is a direct indicator of how hard the brain is driving them to perform work. In a recent French study, researchers found that an involuntary drop in performance during repeated bicycling sprints was accompanied by a comparable decline in electrical activity in the muscles. These results clearly showed that fatigue was not caused by acid buildup or any other factor within the muscles themselves. Instead, it was caused by reduced drive from the brain. Why would your brain cause your muscles to stop working when there’s nothing actually wrong with them? Researchers speculate that it’s your brain’s way of preventing you from exercising to the point where you severely damage your muscles or other organs. For example, the muscles do become slightly more acidic during intense exercise, such as a 5K road race. If they became too acidic, however, some of your muscle cells would be destroyed. To prevent such a disaster from occurring, your brain constantly monitors chemical and electrical signals sent from the muscles and other organs. When one or more of these signals seems to warn of impending harm, your brain produces conscious feelings of discomfort and reduces electrical output to the muscles to keep you safe. It so happens that rising acidity activates pain receptors in the muscles, serving as one of those warning signs. So, what does all of this mean to you? The new understanding of exercise fatigue is leading to a new understanding of how to enhance athletic performance. If muscle fatigue originates in the brain, then the brain should be the primary target of our efforts to prevent fatigue.

Here are 10 ways to “train your brain” for better performance.
1. Increase your pain tolerance According to the new, brain-centered model of muscle fatigue, the feeling of fatigue itself limits performance as much as physical events in the muscles. This does not mean fatigue is an illusion. The pain and suffering of fatigue force every athlete to slow down eventually. But there is significant variation in the level of pain and suffering that ultimately causes performance to decline in individual athletes. Beginning athletes tend to have a lower pain tolerance, because the pain of extreme muscle fatigue is unfamiliar. The brain is always somewhat overprotective in dealing with unfamiliar “threats” to the health of the organism. Thus, if you’re a beginner, your brain will force you to slow down at a lower level of fatigue than is required to make an advanced athlete slow down. But when you manage to push through a few hard workouts without suffering any permanent harm, your brain will relax a bit and allow you to push deeper into fatigue before you bonk. Take advantage of this phenomenon by doing two or three very hard workouts each week. Your objective is to gradually increase your ability to push through the sensations of muscle fatigue. Training essentially becomes a process of recalibrating your brain’s response to fatigue.

2. Obey the hard-easy rule Why not perform very hard workouts every day? The reason is that how hard you train is not the only thing that matters when it comes to recalibrating your brain’s response to fatigue. Your absolute performance level also matters. In other words, your workouts should serve not only to teach your brain that the pain of muscle fatigue won’t kill you, but should also to teach your brain that running at faster and faster speeds and/or for longer and longer distances won’t kill you either. In order to perform at a high level in your hardest workouts, you must not be fatigued already from prior training when you start them. That’s why you should not try to train hard every day. Doing at least one easy workout between hard workouts will help you perform better in your hard workouts and thereby gett a stronger “brain training” effect from them.

3. Do race-intensity workouts Brain training is essentially a matter of familiarizing your brain with the specific demands of competing. As a runner or other type of endurance athlete, you want your brain (and body) to be most familiar with race intensity. You should therefore do workouts involving race-intensity efforts throughout the training process. In the early stages of training, expose yourself to only small doses of race-intensity running (or whatever) while focusing on building a foundation to support peak race-specific fitness later with longer, slower efforts and shorter, faster efforts. Gradually increase the amount of race-pace running you do as you draw closer to your most important race. In the final weeks of training, do some highly specific workouts that are almost as hard as the race itself will be.

4. Don’t overtrain Hard workouts stimulate the release of cytokines, special immune system cells that coordinate the body’s response to the stress of exercise. One of these cytokines, IL-6, is known to enter the brain and cause fatigue. After a hard workout, cytokine levels remain elevated as they aid in the repair of exercise-related muscle damage. Cytokine levels remain chronically elevated in athletes who overtrain—who do too many hard workouts and do not rest enough between hard workouts. Many athletes assume that the muscle fatigue they experience during workouts is totally different from the fatigue of incomplete muscle recovery, but they are really the same. Both are brain-based self-protective mechanisms whose function is to prevent you from doing too much. It is important that you consistently monitor your recovery status and take measures to ensure that you do not allow yourself to enter the chronic fatigue state of overtraining.

5. Cross-Train Cross-training is any type of exercise besides running that you do for the sake of improving your running. There are three basic types of cross-training that have been proven beneficial to runners: resistance training, flexibility and mobility training, and non-impact cardiovascular training. Each type of cross-training has a brain training dimension. Resistance training improves communication between the brain and muscles in ways that enable you to run more efficiently and with less chance of injury. Flexibility and mobility training enhance running efficiency by training your neuromuscular system to eliminate unnecessary muscle tension from your stride. Non-impact cardiovascular training increases running efficiency and fatigue resistance by training neuromuscular patterns that are similar to but slightly different from those used in running. Your brain can then “transfer” some of these patterns back to running in ways that boost efficiency and fatigue resistance.

6. Work on your technique The motor center of your brain stores the information that controls your muscles during running and other sports actions in a manner that is similar to how a computer stores software programs. These movement programs are highly adaptive. Many endurance athletes, and especially runners, do not adequately appreciate their capacity to modify and improve these programs by actively working on their technique. As a runner, the best way to work on your technique is the same way athletes do in other sports, such as golf, that are recognized as technique-dominant: by imitating the best. Throughout every run you do you should consciously control you stride in one or more ways to make it more like the strides of elite runners. Concentrate on landing on the mid-foot with your foot underneath your hips, moving with prefect left-right symmetry, generating powering from the hips, minimizing ground contact time, and staying relaxed in your upper body.

7. Use protein power Sports drinks are known to enhance performance in running and other sports by limiting dehydration and supplying extra carbohydrate fuel to the muscles. Sports drinks containing carbohydrate and protein are proven to enhance performance more than conventional sports drinks containing only carbohydrate. They appear to do so in part by lowering perceived exertion, or how hard exercise feels at any given intensity.

8. Empty your gas tank The cytokine IL-6, mentioned above, not only causes fatigue during exercise but also helps coordinate some of the positive fitness adaptations that occur between workouts. These adaptations include improved fat burning efficiency and greater resistance to exercise-related muscle damage. The primary trigger for the release of IL-6 is depletion of muscle glycogen stores. The best way to deplete your muscle glycogen stores is to do a very long workout ending in near exhaustion. By doing this type of workout on a regular basis—once every week to ten days—you will maximize the rate at which fitness adaptations resulting from IL-6 circulation occur.

9. Visualize perfection The motor programs for running and other sports actions that are stored in your brain can be modified even when you’re at rest. When an athlete imagines himself running, he activates the same neurons (brain cells) that become active when he actually runs. You can take advantage of this phenomenon to improve your technique by imagining yourself moving with flawless technique during brief mental rehearsals. A good time to perform these rehearsals is at night, in bed, before you go to sleep. Just five minutes per night is adequate.

10. Set higher goals When you run a race, you cover the race distance as fast as you can. But upon finishing, how do you know you’ve actually run as fast as you could? You simply feel that you ran as fast as you could. But this feeling is not 100% reliable. For example, studies have shown that runners run faster in races against matched competition than they do in solo time trials, despite the fact that they feel they are running as fast as they can in both circumstances. The brain always allows a safety buffer that prevents you from running truly as fast as you could and thus risking self-harm. The size of this buffer is influenced by various factors. Basically, the more motivated you are, the smaller the protective buffer you will, and the faster you will run. Competition is a motivational factor that shrinks the buffer. It is also influenced by goals. If you set an appropriate race time goal, you will be able to run races faster than you could if you ran strictly by feel without a number in mind. A race time goal is like an imaginary competitor to race against.
http://www.poweringmuscles.com/Article-68,10_Ways_To_Train_Your_Brain_For_Better_Performance.html

Endurance PerformanceGlutamine supplementation is most effective during those times of high-volume and/or high intensity training, particularly if you are in danger of OTS. Though glutamine may not offer a direct ergogenic performance enhancing effect, it will offer insurance for the maintenance of skeletal muscle and immune function. It’s anti-catabolic and immuno-stimulant properties are critical during times of heavy training. There is also evidence supporting the use of glutamine to enhance glucose replenishment. Using glutamine in conjunction with carbohydrates and proteins further improves glycogen re-synthesis. Sustaining adequate glutamine levels may also help modulate the damaging effects of cortisol. Supplementation with 6 - 8 grams/day of BCAA and glutamine has been shown to decrease protein degradation during ultra-distance triathlon competition; decrease exercise induced muscle damage after prolonged running, and improve 40K cycling time trial performance.
Although the direct physiological association and mechanism between glutamine and endurance performance is still a bit unclear in the scientific community, the consistent increases and decreases of plasma glutamine experienced in different athletes participating in different modes of exercise, duration and intensity make it a valuable blood marker monitoring tool for both positive and negative adaptations to training.
Studies have investigated the effect of BCAA supplementation immediately before, during, and after endurance exercise. There is some evidence to support BCAA supplementation during endurance exercise but it has been criticized due to methodological errors and lack of control (Davis et al., 2000). It is difficult to separate the effect of carbohydrate and BCAA’s on the brain and muscle, but data does exist to support a beneficial role of the two combined on central fatigue during endurance exercise. The evidence is stronger to support supplementation of BCAA’s during recovery of endurance exercise and to reduce incidence of infection.
However, new evidence supports that oral ingestion of BCAA’s during exercise can have an anti-catabolic effect on skeletal muscle. Specifically, leucine can stimulate muscle protein synthesis (Lynch, 2003). When combined with carbohydrate feeding during exercise, BCAA’s stimulate protein synthesis and maintain whole body protein balance better than carbohydrates alone (Koopman, 2005). When BCAA’s were consumed during resistance training Shimomura et al. (2006) found a significant reduction in delayed onset muscle soreness (a.k.a. DOMS). Additionally, when swimmers consumed 12 grams of BCAA’s they had reduced post-exercise urinary protein metabolites suggesting that they experienced reduced protein turnover (Tang, 2006).
In another, more recent study (Matsumoto, 2007), the consumption of a 16-ounce beverage containing 2 grams of BCAA’s with 0.5 grams of arginine and 20 grams of carbohydrate at the beginning of a one-hour moderate (50% of maximal work intensity) exercise session, suppressed skeletal muscle protein breakdown. Previous studies have shown that higher doses of BCAA’s produce a positive effect but this study provided evidence that even a low amount of BCAA’s can be beneficial in preventing muscle protein breakdown which is seen in moderate to intense exercise.
http://blog.firstendurance.com/2009/07/amino-acids-their-role-in-endurance-training/

The mental choreography of fatigue is intricate, involving messages sent not only from the brain to the straining muscles but also to various areas within the mind as well. Data from some recent brainwave studies of athletes showed that during long, hard exercise, there’s often a moment when portions of the brain become “de-aroused,” Foster says. “It’s similar to depression,” he adds, and plays out in motivation. You begin to wonder why in the world you’re running, swimming or pedaling so hard. You slow down.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/15/going-all-out/

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Boulder Long Course (70.3) Race Report


I wrote this to my coach, so it might sound like I am talking to him..I was.

Few days leading up to race: hydrated really well with plenty of electrolytes. Didn't work too much. Slept pretty well. Tried to stay calm as much as possible. Made lists of everything I needed. Finished packing with my lists the night before.

Night before: Slept pretty well, considering. Went to bed at 8:30pm and had taken a nap earlier in the day.

Day of: got up, ate some ground turkey, a banana, and hydrated. Took another banana and ate before the swim.

Warm up: fine.

Swim: wasn't prepared for the mass start. That was my first co-ed mass start. A little hectic. Need to be more aggressive. Had a hard time sighting due to the sun, but tried to follow the others while looking for the red bouys. Didn't take for granted that anyone else knew where the hell they were going. My googles didn't fog up, but they leaked. They didn't leak when I tried them in the pool. Had to stop a few times when they were too full (in the right eye). Kept bumping in to people. Had to stop and look for a path between people. Kicked someone in the stomach. Ouch. Didn't realize the last yellow bouy was a TURN bouy--thought it was the end. "Sprinted" to the yellow--then learned I still had a ways to go to the beach. Need to know the course better before starting. The swim itself was ok. I was a little choppy and wasn't quite sure what was going on a few times. Need to be more confident in the path. Also need to get stronger. Not sure I can hold that pace for 2.4 miles!

T1: uh.....slow as hell. Not sure why. I felt a little dazed and found myself kind of standing there trying to figure out what was going on. Never felt that way before. Also haven't raced that distance or that fast. Is it normal to be out of it? Before I left I did a little mental check--bike, helmet, glasses, watch, food.....took WAY too much time. Need to get a better routine. When I came out of T1--I was 1)turning my watch on to get the 15 minute interval beep to remember to eat (didn't think to do that before I got in the water), 2) was trying to get my Garmin to turn on (Julia told me today that I can turn it on BEFORE the swim and it will be ready when I get there)...I also got lost on one of the menus. It'll be fine once I get that sequence right. And 3) I was trying to get my bike computer turned on in case my garmin failed. Now that I trust the Garmin, won't need the bike computer. So yes, I screwed up using it this race and lost some time, but now I know--and no, you can't have it! :-p That's why I was fucking around with all the buttons. Unprepared. I just didn't know. :)

Bike troubles: When you saw me and helped me out of transition...My bike was FINE earlier in the morning...but I took it out and then put it back in the rack and it might have back pedaled and the chain fell off. I honestly don't know. It WAS fine when I put it in there. So I finally manage to get on the bike (which I have forever had a hell of a time doing when people are watching--must practice!! ) and started off. Still wasn't clipped in right. Tried to clip right foot in--and my foot got caught at a weird angle. Almost took myself and another biker out. FINALLY made it out of the res.....and was going UP a hiill. I shifted gears and the chain fell off again. Scrambled because I was in the wrong gear, clipped in to bike, falling over. Got unclipped, put bike on ground, fixed chain....stood up to get back on bike..couldn't get bike to go....too tough of a gear. Shit! Tried again, almost fell over. Tried again, did fall over. Tried again...still can't get in the pedals and up the hill. Said fuck it and ran my bike 100 ft to the top of the hill...and rode away. I believe my watch said 11:07. SHIT--I had lost so much time! Oh well....this is triathlon and I am challenged.

Bike ride was awesome. I felt great. Felt strong. Took the hills easier than ever. Pace was faster than normal and much easier. Felt good. Knew it was 12 miles to St. Vrain--then it was FLYING time. :) Heartrate was in the mid to high 170s up the hill. Not sure what it was going down--didn't look. Was hanging on for dear life. :) Stopped at two of the three water stations. YES--I said STOPPED. I don't know how to grab water from a volunterr and get it in my waterbottle holder. So I didn't attempt it--it would have been sudden death. At four of the six (total) water stations I stopped my bike, opened the water bottle, poured it in my aerobar holder, and then left the aid station.

For the ride I made a bottle with EIGHT scoopes of perpetuem and 8 endurolytes. I made enough nutrition for 4 hours--just in case. I finished almost the entire bottle by the time I had 30 minutes left (I read it is best to not eat for 30 minutes before running so it's not sloshing around.) I did drink, though. In total I'm pretty sure I had 24 oz of water and 8 oz of perpetuem each hour...which is 32 oz of water--well above what it recommended. On the first loop--a fucking bug flew around my glasses and into my eye. I almost fell off the bike again--because I couldnt see--it was burning like crazy and I had to stop on the side of 119. Luckily noone was behind me. I rode with a bug leg in my eye for a bit though. The last five miles I held back a bit. There was a girl in front of me...and I wanted to pass her...but I wasn't sure that was the best thing...she was going the pace I WANTED to go...and I didn't want to have to go faster to stay out of her way...so I stayed back. I knew I was already ahead of my "planned" time, so I didn't worry about it.

I thought I did a great job on nutrition, but the run said differently--and so did my doctor today. Also, I DID NOT have any gels, which was probably a mistake. I could have used some more calories probably. I took in 1040 calories and probably burned more than that. Oops. Probably need more calories, more endurloytes and more water. Did notice a little headache a few times on the bike, come to think of it....that should have been my first warning. Damn.

T2: Much faster...not dazed and confused. Didn't think as much.

Run: First off--I ran out of perpetuem the night before when I was getting my stuff ready. I looked around at the stores around and noone carried it, that I could see from the internet. So..I made my water belt bottles with HEED. Not ideal--for me. I train with perpetuem on my long runs--not HEED. I was a tad bit concerned. I have never LIKED HEED. Now I know why! It doesn't work. :)

I also couldn't find my bottle of endurolytes the night before (the ones I had bought that day--what a fucking scatterbrain!)---so used all but three of the pills I had in a container to carry with me to put in the perpetuem and HEED bottles. Only had three pills on me. Thought I woulnd't need them. BIG F-ING MISTAKE!

So I start running--hear you tell me it's getting hot--put ice on my head. Running, running, running---look down at Garmin--9:30 miles--WTF? That's WAY TOO fast to start out with! That's faster than my average OLYMPIC time. Gotta slow down. Easier said than done. Body wants to go. Brain is screaming--WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? SLOW DOWN! Then I remember your article. First three miles are the slowest, last three are the fastest. OK, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, BRANDY. Heartrate---NOT in my magic number zone. Didn't EXPECT it to be, though. If I wanted it to come down, I was going to have to walk the 13 miles. So, I went off of my breathing. Tried to keep that under control. Worked off and on. The hills really got me--physically but mostly mentally. Hit mile 1--WHERE IS THE FUCKING AID STATION I say outloud. It's up over the hill and around the bend, on the way to grandmothers house. WTF? I thought they were EVERY mile??? They weren't on the same mile system that I was on. Frustrating!

Run a mile--walk a minute. Did this EVERY mile. Also ended up walking alot more than the plan. I just could not make myself WANT to go...especially up the hills. Walked a lot of the hills--espcially second loop. Heartrate never came down. When I walked for more than a minute one time, it got down to 163. The rest of the time, even though I was trying to run at a steady pace (9:50-11:30 pace), it was usually in the mid 170s. Too high, I know---but that's where it was...and it was not going to come down unless I stopped and stood still for a while, then crawled the half marathon. I was not going to do that. I don't know what the right thing to do was. So I kept going, took a lot of breaks, tried to relax......You were in my head the whole time. One time I looked down and someone had written "suck it up buttercup" with chalk in the middle of the road.....and I smiled---it was like you were there!

Mile 4-ish--was given a frozen sponge. Oh my god--the best thing in the world. I kept it. My favorite part of the race besides finishing. Second loop I got two. Couldn't get the ice to stay on my head--so put ICE WATER on my head. VERY refreshing! I lived for each aid station and every mile marker. The HEED made me feel too sugary, but I kept drinking becuase it had the endurlolytes. Oh---almost forgot to tell you--almost every single step on the half marathon was a half cramp--either in my quad or hammie or calf muscle. My leg would start to cramp, then stop. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING STEP!! I bent over a few times to stretch and my legs went to seize up--so I stopped that. I just hoped and hoped and hoped that I would not find myself on the ground. If lifting my leg made it worse...I didn't lift it very high. If anything made it worse, I stopped doing it.I was a slave to cramps. The doc today said it was because I was dehydrated. I don't know how---32 oz on the bike, water bottles galore on me..stopped at ALL of the aid stations and poured water on me and down my throat (except for a few--but I had my water bottles on the belt). Had one gel on the course. Should have skipped the HEED and had gels.

I don't believe that I hit the wall physically--although maybe--and I just didn't realize it--if I was truly dehydrated. But mentally--oh my goodness. There were times I didn't want to take another step on that run course. Three times I actually stopped in the middle of the road and just stood there for a minute. That felt good. Having the garmin helped--I could see when I only had .20 miles to make it to a mile marker--then I could run there. The last .6 miles of the race was the hardest. I was SOOO close...and I was soo close to finishing under 6:30! I told my legs to run, but they (or my brain) said nope--let's walk. We're tired. Part of me was like: "We're so fucking close and seriously--what is .60 miles after doing 70??? GO GO GO! Nope. So I ran a few steps, walked a few steps..on and on. Finally, got to the crowd and used them as a means of energy to run the last .2 miles...even though I truly didn't WANT to run it.

It was cool to hear my name over the loud speaker. Very cool to see so many of my friends and family. :) Eric told me right away that you and Julia were over at awards--and that she took second. I got over there as fast as I could. I was totally out of it....but Duane said I said (upon finishing) that I need a LOT more training. Yes, indeed. Bring the training. I will train, train, train.....whatever it takes to get across that finish line at 140.6. Because not training enough and training too much would be torture.

So that was my race.

I feel a bit different as a person today, but I can't explain it. I'm not jumping up and down, but for once I am really proud of myself, despite wanting to tear the race apart and find all the flaws. I guess it's still hard to believe I did it....

Looking back, the swim and the bike were FUN....like a nice long training day that was going really well. When the run came, that's when reality hit..hard. On a pain scale, I felt the same as I did at the olympic....it all turns to mental shit on the run at the res. I HATE that run course. Of course, I will do it again next year--but I'll probably still hate it.

Times:
Swim: time was ok--with a few fixes, I can get better.
Bike: being more prepared and better at riding will drastically improve my time. I also want to get a hellava lot faster. Cycling is way cool and I love it. I have improved leaps and bounds this season already! I can't wait to see what I can do in Arizona! My girl parts are STILL tingly..and not in a good way.
Run: story speaks for itself. It was absolutely my WORST half marathon time ever. I'd like to be able to hold 10 mins/mile. Maybe that will take a while.

Heartrate: Hmmmm..not sure what we are going to do about this. 153-158 is just not going to work for racing. Maybe on a flatter course. I don't know.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Days away from 70.3

I can't blog with earphones in my ears. Is that the same thing as trying to skip and chew gum at the same time?

T minus one week until my first 70.3. In a way, doing this particular course is like giving my virginity, that I've saved for 32 years, to a really ugly ex-boyfriend. I've been there, done that, hated it, and now I'm going back to give myself over to it again, to live in my memory forever and ever. The swim and bike are fine (if you like 12 miles of uphill each loop), but the run course leaves MUCH to be desired...if it is what I think it is. In fact, it is what I think it is because Jess and I have been out there to do that loop. Boulder Rez is open, treeless, and very very dirty--and not in the good dirty way--the BAD dirty way. The kind of dirty that gets in your skin and your beautiful new $130 running shoes and stays there forever---so that every time you look at yourself or put on your shoes, you remember the pain and suffering. And it's supposed to be hot. Like 95 degrees hot. Water on head for the bike, ice on head for the run. I think I will put ice down my shirt, actually. Save the ta-tas from overheating. They have feelings too.

Today I went to a 3000 person all female triathlon--Tri for the Cure. My friend Kelly did her first tri. I was sooo excited to be there to support her and see what the experience is like as a spectator. It was really cool. I teared up a few times, thinking about what she was accomplishing, knowing how much she was hurting. In reality she made it look easy. Which made me set a new goal. My new goal is to ALWAYS come through the finish line with a smile. Not the usual: "Am I still alive?" scowl. GOOD JOB, KELLY!

Now it's 6:43pm on Sunday. I still have time to work on an application for a leadership program I'm trying to get in to, do laundry and plan my week, day by day, preparing for this race. Coach Pete said that I need QUIET FOCUS--watch a movie, read a book, meditate. Maybe I will buy a new book and do just that--read. Calm. Serene. Meditative.

I feel pretty good. I got two weeks of taper. Not sure why, but Pete does, do I didn't ask. He knew he gave it to me. I am enjoying it. Takes some stress off of me in ways. Other ways I worry if I am getting out shape. Again, I"m not the coach, so I try not to worry.

I'm really tired. Maybe I'll just go to bed. :)

Later gaters.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Note: this is not knitting group, it's a 70.3. Suck it up and deal.

I am sitting on the couch with my husband's silk sweater (he's going to kill me soon) over my legs, with ice bags on my knees and shins, and one on my lower back. This is all in an attempt to walk tomorrow, upright. :) Oh, and to get my ride and run in tomorrow in a mostly painless fashion.

Not much new has been going on...just work, more work, training and more training. I got the flu this week for a few days and missed work AND training. It was kind of nice to have an entire day off. It meant more work, though. Go figure. I didn't have to make up for the training.

This morning I had a killer swim. Our coach's team hosted an open water swim race this morning. I did the race a month ago and finished the mile in 29 something. Finished it in 25:36 today. Quite the improvement. It took ALOT of self talk. Even so, I about drowned when I saw my time. I wasn't expecting that much improvement in only 4 weeks. Training with Pete is helping me sooo much. Just another instance of "the plan" beieng validated. :) Pete's working. I'm working. The plan is working. YAY!

Had a nice 12 mile run today, too. Hello, WTF is up with ALL the hills in CO? I took a course backwards today, not thinking about THE HILL in it. OOPS. Big ass mother f-ing hill!! I ran it, and am a better runner for it, but it was NOT my idea of a fun time....

I hurt now. Does everyone's knees hurt after 11 miles? It gets better and takes longer to hurt each week, so I guess my body is adjusting. I've had to adopt a new motto: BRING THE PAIN. Sounds dumb, but pain is a reality of triathlon, and as soon as I accept that, I will be a better triathlete. So when I start hurting or bitching out, I say to omyself BRING THE PAIN, and it reminds me that this is triathlon and I will either suck it up and hurt, or I will be a fucking loser. No one wants to be a fucking loser. I especially do not want to be a fucking loser. That's my final answer. Today was proof that I can hurt WAY MORE than I let myself get to. In the swim, I pushed myself hard and let myself hurt, but kept going. The pack in front of my probably hurt, too, but they were swimming. JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

Just a few weeks until Boulder Long Course, my first 70.3. I REALLY REALLY want to finish in a decent time, but I will take a finish in the time allowed. Pete said if I finish in 8 hours, we should be scared. If I come in around 7, not so much to be scared about. No stress for my first real endurance event, right? Again, this is triathlon, not knitting. People don't have time to sit around and wait for a bunch of people to take their time, stopping and visiting with others, to come through the finish line. How selfish of me to want to consume all of the volunteers' weekend day so I don't have to have a fucking meltdown about making a certain time. Huhmp.

On a more positive note, Eric and I are scheduled for a 2010 vacation of a lifetime. Something good, outside of an awesome paycheck, has come from his year of traveling.

Ok, he's out here now, so it's time to watch Donnie Darko. Laters.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Checklist for Cycling

It takes me for freaking EVER to get ready for a long ride. In fact, I am constantly forgetting stuff, so I made a list. Now I know why it takes me forever. I'm not the most organized of triathletes.

-Bike: tires checked, tires aired up, check brakes, change out skewer if necessary
-Water/hydration/nutrition: aerobar bottle of Perpetuem, water bottle of water, extension on the aerobottle, food (before, during and after), gels, sharkies, etc.
-ID, road ID braceelet, credit card
-Clothes (easier said than to find! Especially cycling socks--why are they always hiding from me??), cycling gloves, sunglasses
-heart rate monitor (that works--I've broken two in the last two months!)
-heart rate strap (duh.)
-Skewer (the bike one, not the training one. I still can't find the bike one right now! Damnit!)
-helmet (adjusted. I swear little fairies are wearing my helmet at night!)
-Sunscreen (I have extra wipes in my tool bag for when I forget!)
-Phone (fully charged..what a pain!)
-Course description typed up in word to put in my map holder (yes, seriously love the map holder!)
-Map holder
-Bento box attached to hold phone, credit card, ID, etc.


I have been working for well over an hour and a half to get all this shit together. My heart rate monitor is lost, still. It needs a new battery I guess. And I can't find the bike skewer. DAMN!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

11:30 and still doing lunges

My poor (but dear) husband watched me sweat my ass off in front of the TV tonight, on the trainer, draining two Ironman brand water bottles of water....cheering me on. What a sweetie. THEN, as I was printing my strength training workout from the computer, he got ready for bed, and innocently said: "Ok, I am going to bed, you coming?" Uh, NO. "What?" I still have 40 minutes of a leg workout to do. "Seriously?" Uhn huh, quite. "You know what?" I'm fucking crazy? "Besides that." No, what? "You are amazing. You're going to finish IM in 13 hours I bet."

Now how can you resist that?

But there is a point here. It is MUCH easier to watch someone train for IM, than to do the training. It is much easier to have confidence for someone doing IM than it is for me to have confidence in doing IM. For those who look IN on the training, it seems like a lot--and a lot must be good, right? Maybe. Can't tell until the race.

But it IS interesting to ponder why this is so. Eric watches me sacrifice time, sleep, money, sanity, relaxation, pretty much everything....and that gives him a lot of confidence in me. The reality of the situation, though, is that I could barely finish. I CERTAINLY hope this is not the case.....but I'm just a very average person doing a very unaverage event, with a lot of other very exceptional people.

Don't get me wrong--I'm not trying to be negative. I bust my ass day in and day out like everyone else. But the reality of the situation is that I look at the finishing times at the Boulder Long Course last year, and I am going to be in the bottom percent. It's a bit frustrating in some ways. In other ways I'm okay with it--this is my FIRST year of long distance racing. That has to count for something. But being in the bottom percentage reminds me that while I am BUSTING MY ASS day in and day out...I am still at the bottom. :) Killing myself to be in the bottom is better than never being in the race to begin with though.....right? Then part of me is like "who gives a shit what percent you are in? It's your race. If you finish, you win. Period. Run your own damn race."

I was swimming very recently. 8x300 yd intervals. 100-sprint, 100-fast race pace, 100-recovery. Seriously--thought I wasn't going to make the sprints. 25 yds in and my body was already out of oxygen. Quickly went on a fucked up mental trip. I can't do this. This is too hard. Why would anyone want to do this to themselves? I'm not a sprinter. Who cares how fast I take off from the starting line. I'm a long slow distance person. BLAH, BLAH, FUCKING BLAH......I was miserable.

When I started the workout I took 8 pennies and 2 dimes. One dime on the concrete. Under the dime, I made two rows of four pennies vertical. At the bottom I put another dime. Dimes are warmup sets and pennies are intervals. I am lost without a system. So as I am swimming, feeling miserable and negative, I look at ALL of the pennies left at my lane end(in my mind), and feel even worse. I AM NEVER GOING TO FINISH THIS!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? SEVEN MORE OF THESE? INTOLERABLE!

After the initial sprint and 75 yards into the "race" pace, I started to feel better. Ok, so just the first half of these intervals suck ass. Can I make it through the first half? I was going to have to come up with a game plan, quickly.

Molly has a wonderful coach, Elizabeth, who wrote an amazing article on women and confidence. I keep it in my planner and read it often. I am absolutely addicited to her article. When my workouts get hard, I think of an analogy she used---a squirrel---fucking fearless--getting it's nuts. She says to get in the pool, talk shit to yourself, and the clock will validate that you totally suck. Get in the pool and think positive, and the clock will validate that you kick ass!

My first strategy on #2 300 yd interval was to fill my head with the word "positive"...repeating it over and over, leaving no room for negativity to creep in and fuck up my swim. It worked pretty well, but took a lot of energy--because I KNEW the negativity was in there--it was just being drowned out. BUT it worked. The sprint was better. #3 and on I tried different approaches. One time I said all positive affirmations to myself: "You are strong, you are tough, you are smart, you are beautiful, you can do this, you've got this, this is good, etc". Another time I thought of the squirrel--and said "squirrel" the entire 100 yds. I even laughed, thinking of the fearless squirrel. Towards the last half of the set, I would repeat the thought of crossing the finish line at IM, hearing my name announced--"Brandy Cohen--YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!" In my mind I related the finish of the race to a excellent swim, and it made the sets fly by. I had to talk myself IN to making the sets be the best that I could give. "Pete wouldn't give me this unless I needed it. This is going to help me be a faster swimmer. I am going to be in better shape because of this. There are other people out there not training as hard as I am. There are people who are more dedicated than I am, and I need to step up. It's better to put in the pain now, to be stronger later. It's not always going to feel like this--just now because I am getting stronger. EVery little bit counts...' and so on, and so on, and so on.

I survived that workout and masochistically ASKED for MORE like it from Pete.

We are all very spoiled. How often do we truly do stuff we don't want to do, besides work? Not very often if you think hard. Ironman training on the other hand forces us to do an array of things we may not want to do--get up early, stay up late, miss parties, miss sleep, miss vacations, do workouts we don't want to do when we don't want to workout, etc. There is no stopping. There is no making up for lost workouts. It's now or never. WE DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET IT DONE EVEN WHEN WE DONT WANT TO DO IT. We are faced with our spoiled-ness daily, and we turn our backs on giving up.

Iwant to congratulate myself and all of you for STICKING WITH IT--especially when it's hard, especially when you are tired and burned out, and would rather be sitting on your ass, watching cartoons, eating a bowl of ice cream with sprinkles. I still eat the ice cream, but not sit on my ass very much.

This training is time consuming, stressful, hard, but it is so rewarding. Look how far you have come. Really take time to look at what you are accomplishing. Who else in their right mind would have to do a 60 mile ride and get excited? Who else would consider a 60 mile ride a WORKOUT and not complete torture???!!

I am proud to be a part of such an amazing, awe-inspiring, dedicated, rish taking, limit breaking group of motivated, adventure seeking individuals. It is through our shared suffering, sacrifices, and ultimate joy of this sport that we are bonded. We are truly unique and special in our own right.

Again, I am so happy to be here, with you. Taking this journey with others like you makes it so much better.

It's late....12:18am, and I have to get up to go into work early, so I can go to my bike fit appointment on time tomorrow.

Remember--we are incredibly lucky to be able to do what we LOVE--even on the days we fucking HATE it. :) In the end, we are all triathlon addicts and we just have to accept it. :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

More Ironman S words, including SEX, and the lack of

Dedicated to Julia, a bunch on naughty S words, intermingled. :)

salad (every day)
shakes (after workouts)
sizes
support
symetry
sizzling
styling
smiling
sunscreen
sunglasses
selling
stickers
sales
spending (endless money)
squishing
sighing
signs
salary (spending all of it on IM)
stuffing (into spandex)
shuffling
sparkling
savings
shorts
specials
spandex
spine
seat
snacks (yummy)
sleep (little of this)
sleepy
snoozing (I wish!)
sneezing (from allergies!)
snakes (I see these all the time)
snot (unfortunately, yes)
sun
strong
silent
splenda
silly
sprint
SOBER
sore
squint
spring
stuck up (colorado cyclists)
snoore
serenity
scrunchies
showers
spastic
slimy
sweatpants
socks
shirts
sounds
sleep in (yeah, right!)
saturday
sunday
someday
summer
squats
stretch
sing
scream
smokin'
sideways
semen
sultry
splendid
speaking
SMILES (for 24 hours)

Ok, your turn.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Some S's of Ironman

Self-reflection
Self-gratification (because noone loves you enough anymore to gratify you because you are always gone out of their lives!)
Sacrifice
Seclusion
Scared
Seeking
Suffering
Submission (to the pain, to the "boss" (coach), to the miles, to the heat, to the endless miles of pavement, to the fear, and ultimately to the JOY)
Sinking
Sweating
Swimming
Steak
Strawberries
Senility (how many more miles did you say?)
Sensitivity (to heat, to cold, to people's disbelief, to giving up another weekend to ride, to friends, and loved ones....)
Strength
Stubborness
Sweetness
Strong
Swearing (Damnit!I can ride a whole lot fucking faster than that fucking ride!)
Smooth (from shaving, across the water, up the hill, through the valley)
Suits (trisuits, wetsuits, swimsuits, suitcases)
Shut the fuck up and swim (This is for you, Pete!)
Shut the fuck up and run
Shut the fuck up and bike
STOP WHINING!
Slick (tires, hair dos, and new bikes)
Smelly (cars, gym bags, shoes, laundry, and locker rooms)
S'mores (no, this word is for AFTER ironman!)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Newbie Weeks

Not long ago Duane would tell me about his 15 hour training weeks and I would laugh--That's a part time job! Well, welcome to the real freaking world of training, Newbie Chick. :) I am proud to say that I have now had some "long" workout weeks, too! They are only comparatively speaking---to the amount I "trained" last year. This is really only the beginning--when my weeks are short. HA HA HA:

Week of 6/01

Bike 98.6 mi 06:55
Run 14.0 mi 03:00
Strength 01:18
Swim 6950.0 yd 02:52
Yoga_Pilates_Stretch 00:22
Total Duration: 14:27 hours

Week of 6/8 (screwed this week up and missed workouts)

Bike 47.4 mi 03:00
Run 12.5 mi 02:31
Strength 00:45
Swim 6710.0 yd 02:09
Yoga_Pilates_Stretch 00:20
Total Duration: 08:45 hours

Week of 6/15 (a much better week)

Bike 97.7 mi 07:07
Run 16.0 mi 03:32
Strength 01:00
Swim 6610.0 yd 02:22
Total Duration: 14:01 hours

So--this is exciting for me. :) I feel like I am really doing something now. :) Good feeling.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

One day soon....

Currently I am too tired to write in the blog all the stuff I've been wanting to write. I'm too tired because I've been running, biking and swimming (and working crazy hours). So more than anything, I need sleeppppp....before I have to get up and go swim and run tomorrow. :)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Happy In Boston

Right this moment I am in Boston, in a beautiful hotel, overlooking an amazingly green park, spotted with white tents under which vendors are selling fruits, veggies, pies, honey, flowers, herbs, and the most amazing macintosh apple cider! I went down earlier today and bought two homemade pies for Eric. The hotel is keeping them in the refrigerator for him, as he likes his pie and cobbler cold, practically near frozen.

I have so much to say! Where do I start?

Yesterday was my first full day here. I woke up with Eric, walked to his office with him, stopped for some morning fruit salad, and bought a large overpriced water. I hate buying bottled water. It makes me feel gilty--but I didn't bring my water bottle, so my fault. Then I came home (to the hotel) and realized I had left my phone in the cab from the night before. It was a rather horrible day. I was sooooo f-ing mad at myself that I wanted to scream and scream and scream. But the day passed and I felt better. Had lunch with Eric and his coworker, Julie, who I adore. She's so funny. :) We ate at Tossed, a fresh salad/wrap/sandwich place. The day went by.....then it was time for dinner. Sushi place. Holy crap we ate. I went there with every intention of staying clean and raw. I ate seasweed salad which was delicious; california roll with brown rice (hadn't had rice in 7 weeks!!); mushroom soup (delicious, but not raw); bites of some sushi rolls (DELICIOUS, but some of the ingredients were deep fried and had dairy base (mayo); and sampled the four desserts (cooked, sugar, fatty, and dairy). THIS was not a common night. In fact, I will not have one of those again for a very long time! It was kind of nice to not worry about what I am eating, although I also didn't feel great about what I was doing. There is a part of me that likes to "suffer" by sticking to rigid meal plans, likes not being on the same boat with everyone else, likes having to make hard desicisions, and making them well. It's probably a weird mental sickness I have. Oh well. :)

Today was a little better than last night. :) I woke up, went outside and ran 5 miles by the water. Amazing! I think I'll hit up two laps tomorrow. It's so pretty and green here. I love Boston. It's hot, though!

For lunch I met Eric and his coworkers again. I had shrimp cocktail (4 pieces of shrimp) and a chicken walnut salad. So two days in a row of meat. The salad was delicious! VERY very good, actually. It would have been just as amazing without the chicken. Don't know why I ate it.

Even before lunch, though, I noticed that I had a headache. Maybe dehydration? Maybe because I am a little bit sick (sore throat still)? Maybe the shit I ate last night? All of the above? I am absolutely more thirsty out here than I ever am at home. What does this mean? What changed? I'm not eating the same ridiculous amount of fruits out here that I do at home. So I said "ENOUGH" and went to the grocery store. I bought oranges, apples, blueberries, blackberries, bananas, watermelon, and some stuff for Eric. FINALLY!! I can eat my normal high water diet!!!! And maybe this stupid headache will go away. The meat hasn't made me feel terrible---but I don't feel as light and buzzy as usual.

So right now I want to go lay down and take a nap. Eric wants to run/walk the 5 mile loop tonight. Tomorrow night is Blue Man Group.

This post was supposed to be about the philosophical things I've been thinking about, but it sounds more like a report. Oh well. Maybe later.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Aspiring Raw Foodist

Remember the movie Truman, where Jim Carey lives in a staged world most of his adult life, until the end of the movie where he finds out he's been on a stage? That is kind of how I feel today. Nothing that drastic, of course.

But I wonder....

How many things do I believe are true, simply because I have been told them my whole life?

See, all of this started when I was about 18 and met a lady named Catherine. She was out there, but she opened my eyes to a lot of "holistic" things--accupuncture, candling, reiki, cupping, psychic abilities, nutrition, meditating and unfortunately some conspiracy theory. I pass on the conspiracy theory stuff. I only have so long to live and don't want to worry things I can't change, or really AREN'T happening....so...

She was my chinese medicine doctor. I took chinese herbs, cleansed, had needles stuck all over me, ear seeds, readings, dream analysis, and the list goes on. I learned MANY things, no doubt! But it also got me interested in different diets, vitamins, etc. So, for 14 years I have been learning about and experimenting with food.The first organized diet I tried was FIT FOR LIFE. Interesting concept. I tried it. Lost a few pounds, but didn't stay on it. I have NEVER stayed on a diet actually. (Which is why I have had the opportunity to try them!)I've also read or tried Blood Type Diet, High Protein/Low Carb, juice fasts (once I drank organic apple juice for four days straight (and that was all) , to end the cleanse by drinking a cup of olive oil. I threw it all up--four days down the drain!)Then I start working out with trainers to lose weight--high protein, low carbs (translating to very little fruit!). IT WORKS!! Yes, it does. By changing my diet and working my ass off, I lost 42 over 8 months. Went from a Size 14 to a size 4. Eventually I gained some back because I wasn't working out as hard as I was before (www.anti-gym.com). Then one day, about a year or two ago, my friend Duane invited me to a triathlon clinic put on by Pete and Kathy Alfino. Kathy was her masters degree in nutrition stuff. She said if you want to eat right for training, follow Paleo for Athletes. So I went out, bought it, and read it--didn't understand it though. I still had a lot of other stuff to learn...about carbs, protein, and fat. So, a year or two later, I start Crossfitting...and they advocated Teh Zone Diet. Went out, bought the book, read it, tried it. Not bad. Kind of time consuming!! THEN, as I started consulting with Pete on a one-on-one basis, he started talking about Paleo and how great it was for him and his wife. He wanted me to try it. First I did a master cleanse for 6 days, then I was supposed to start. I don't recall it working like that!! :) SoI was off and on, trying to decide when and where to start. Pete and Kathy aren't 100% Paleo, so they have some flexibility. I can't do flexibility. Then, one week, Crossfit started talking about going Paleo--and how that was the "new" way. They did a 30 day lockdown. I didn't do it!!! They got some good results. I was feeling out of control and kind of sick of eating. Nothing sounded good anymore. So I signed up for their next 30 day lockdown...knowing that Pete wanted me to try it anyway. This was a way to have some structure and support. We started on April 17, but I started on April 4--by myself. I don't remember it being hard! Within weeks my acid reflux was gone and asthma was getting better.

About this time my frien, Dave, went raw. I thought he was f-ing CRAZY--training for an Ironman, eating nothing but RAW fruits and veggies and nuts/seeds. But my curiousity got the best of me and I started reading about it. No harm there, right? WRONG!! When I started reading, I naturally started eating more raw food--because I knew it was better for ME (maybe not for everyone). I started feeling even better. So I ate more and more raw food. Until one day I was at Sprouts and found a raw food "cookbook"....that night I had my first raw tomato sauce and veggies--OH MY GOD!! It was so delicious and satisfying! I couldn't believe it!

As the days went on, I ate more and more raw, experimented with a few things....played around. Then, about 6 days ago, I took a few days off of work to relax and take care of me. I read another raw book that night and the following morning. MADE SENSE! Sounded delicious! So, to shorten this story--I found another friend online that got Dave started and also did more research. I LOVE RESEARCH!! Last Thursday I decided to go almost 100% raw! I still have balsalmic vinegar occasionally...and my herbs aren't all raw yet. But one day. I think I'm doing well for now!

My weight is coming off. My appetite is sooo reduced. I go to the bathroom 3-5 times a day. I never get sugar crashes. If I'm tired, it's because I'm tired--not because my blood sugar is fucked up. I havne't had coffee in 6 days--that is the hardest thing!I cheated and had a cup of hot peppermint tea the other day. Almost had coffee today.

My muscles don't hurt like that used to. They get a tad bit sore--but they don't kill me. It's very interesting.

My point to all of this rambling is this--I believe my entire life that meat was SUPPOSED to be part of my diet! HOLY COW--HOW DO VEGANS LIVE WITHOUT MEAT?? Honestly, I only miss it once in a while--usually when I'm hungry. But before I went raw, when I started Paleo, meat made me feel soo heavy! I couldn't believe it!

So, here I am....aspiring raw foodist. I do not have to live on a make believe set of everyone's ideas and suggestions. I can choose my own path. I can eat meat or not. But if I choose not to, I'm not going to die--actually, I'll probably be healthier! But, like I said--this is all about me. I suggest people play with a variety of diets to see what their boides prefer.

Whew. That was long!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Raw Broccoli Soup

I seem to do well with numbering my thoughts, so I will continue in that fashion for this post.

1. I love to try new things--especially diets. Mainly because I have never found one that works AND is technically healthy. Sure, I've lost weight on some of them--but indulging in dairy didn't sit well with my stomach.
2. So--I am trying raw. My friend, Dave, went raw and I thought he was out of his f-ing mind--especially training for ironman. I doubted it, for sure.
3. But being eternally curious, I started to read a bit about raw...then read more, then try some stuff, then read more, then today--buy a juicer, a food processor, and some new kitchen utensils.
4. I don't even like to cook--but for some reason, now, I am thrilled to "cook" food. I, all of a sudden, LOVE to read raw recipes...and drool over them.
5. Tonight I made my first raw soup--broccoli. Wow. Yum. Broccoli, almonds, raw honey, cumin, garlic, onions, water, salt, pepper.....very tasty!
6. I learned today a little about food combining for the BEST results....fruit only an empty stomach. Shit. :) They recommend fruit until noon, then salads, then soups, breads, etc. Really you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want---but like all things, there are "better" ways to do things.

7. My shoulder that I had surgery on HURTS from too much lifting.
8. I took today off from work, from training, from taking a shower--I just did whatever I wanted, and cleaned.
9. ok, I'm done. :)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Random stuff

1. I discovered today that fresh raw tomatoes with fresh squeezed lime juice is one of the most orally orgasmic things I've ever eaten.
2. I've lost 6.8 pounds on Paleo since April 4, 2009.
3. My dreams are getting more and more strange. I need to stop sleeping on the couch. Seriously--torture dreams more than once a week suck. Torture dreams at all suck.
4. Lettuce wraps with guacamole and tomatoes and chicken rock---they would be good even without the chicken.
5. I don't physically crave protein like I used to. I sometimes crave warm, filling food, though.
6. Crossfit has kicked my ASS two days in a row. Sometimes I think Crossfit is way tougher than I am.
7. I really want a Garmin to run with.
8. Depehce Mode and Offspring are coming to Denver. YAY!
9. I love lists.
10. My bike is coming along great---now all it needs is a new seat post, a new seat, aerobars, a bike fit, and maybe a new handlebar if mine is too wide.
11. My shoulder is entirely TOO freaking sore. :(
12. That's it!! Gotta go to bed now.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sunday musings

I finally figured out that it takes me longer than most (in my opinion) to get going. I'm training, but not every day and not perfectly. But it is my goal that I am working towards. I figured out this weekend that nothing is perfect...and I am not going to be perfect, so I need to touch base with myself and see what is "enough", from time to time.

Take this weekend for instance. I was supposed to have my bike ready by last weekend, but I didn't get it done. So this week I had my stepdad install the new wheels. Saturday I was going to take the bike in and get the new pedals put on, and get my shoes put together. Didn't. I WENT to cycling clinic today, but didn't ride. I took a lot of notes, paid attention to the drills---then took my bike in to get all the adjustments.

I went to Performance because I was supposed to have $80 in credits.....double points from last week. First I had to have them take the security tag off of the shoes I bought last week. Then I found some new tights, new century riding pants, a new tool bag, and yes-- alittle dingy bell for the bike path to work. I don't care if a bell is stupid--it feels safer to me. :) So I get to the cash register and only half of my points are showing up! Shit. So I only bought the bell, the tool bag and the tights. They are going to fix my points--dammnit. :) Then I went to Bibcyle Village to get my pedals put on and my shoes fixed. I bought my bike there last year--so they totally hooked me up and did it for free! VERY nice people there--great customer service.

After a long day of driving all over, I came home and ate. :) Now I am about to make my schedule for the week. This should be fun!! :)

Oh, but before I go---I am going to be more conscious of my time and energy this week, and try not to waste it on shit that doesn't make me happy and feel good! :) My diet is making me feel great--Paleo and a lot of raw....and lots more sleep!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Things to catch up on

1) Congrats to Molly for an awesome race---and for keeping her cool on the bike leg that could have mentally zapped her

2) If you don't follow Chrissie Weelington's blog, you should. She's a riot.

3) Paleo is going...well. I am eight days without gluten, any grains, dairy, and refined sugar. I cheated yesteray and had a banana, which in turn made my mouth itch--so that might an allergy. Still down about 5 pounds. Feel great. My exercise induced asthma is SOOO much better, as is my acid reflux....astonishingly so. I had so much hot stuff yesterday and not one indication of AR. Wow.

4) I found snack packs of almonds and different nuts! YAY!

5) I ran 7 miles on a treadmill last night---boring! The cute boy next to me helped keep me motivated---I only needed a olittle. Goodness he was cute!! When I got off at mile 7 he was on 3.5.

6) Getting excited about IM AZ 2009. There are days I don't think I can do it, but there are more days now where I know I can!

7) Hope all is well in your world!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Yoga Heat

Second day of yoga! HOT HOT HOT! I thought I was going to throw up when we did core today. Wow! Bought my own mat--it's not that grippy. I also bought some tea tree oil to clean it, though. I need a yoga towel I guess. Lost an inch around my waist since Saturday. Water weight.

Had "track" practice today. I guess it's more appropriately called SPEED workouts, but whatever. We warmed up for 15 minutes, did 6x400 pace and then 4 strides. Not too bad. Kept our times between 2:03 and 2:10--so somehwat consistent.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Breathe in....ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Today was my first yoga session! Holy cow yoga is FUN! I don't know what kind it was---lying...here, this is from the website:
Description:
CorePower Yoga 2 - Open (All Levels) Power Yoga: CorePower Yoga is a truly unique yoga practice based on intuition rather than tradition. A heated, climate controlled Vinyasa flow practice, CorePower Yoga heals, detoxifies and exhilarates the body and mind with emphasis on movement, balance and intention. CorePower Yoga 2 connects the body to the mind and spirit through intense flow and Ugai breathing techniques, helping students get to the “Core” of their being.

I sweat my ASS off and loved every single sweat droplet that hit my mat, ran into my eyes, and almost up my nose on down dog. Exquisite. Divine. I LOVED IT. See--I'm still high from the heat!

Yes, I am going tomorrow, and probably the next day. I have to figure out how to get in my TRI workouts AROUND yoga. HAHAHAHAHA!! Totally freakish OCD girl.

On another extremely positive note--I am day 3 Paleo. Wow. I am super happy with how I feel. Guilt around food is gone. I'm getting so many fresh, raw fruits and veggies! (And of course protein and fat, too!!) I eat raw when I can stomach it, but I am not 100% raw, by any stretch of the imagination.

Life is good. Work is okay. I still don't like what I do really, but it's flat lined for a while. My husband is home for two weeks!! He's been gone almost every week since December. I didn't realize that I might be getting a little lonely. He went to yoga with me tonight and killed it! He's sooooo strong, flexible, athletic and TOUGH as nails! The man has a strong will!

Just wanted to report something positive and uplifting for a change!

GO YOGA AND PALEO!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Checkin in


So many days fly by between posts!!!

After my last few posts, I managed to clean out my closet, get caught up on my laundry, clean my counter off, go through all my shit under the kitchen sink, and clean out the guest bedroom. That felt great!! I also managed to order photos and put them in frames to one day hang up---they will be the first true photos we hang up in our house....after 3.5 years of being here. We're slow. :)

Today I sat in a leadership development class. I was picked to be one of four people from our organization to be placed in this group. It's great, but it's going to be A CRAP LOAD of extra work. Why do I do this to myself?

I finished class 2 of 7 for my project management certification through the VA. I'll probably take some time off before I start class three. Working a ton, doing this new leadership thing, trying to get to the gym, and a number of other random things makes it hard to control my schedule. Right now I am exhausted. Got home from training at 415, took a nap until 615, then went to meet some coworkers for a few hours to work on a major project that's due soon (I forgot to metion that I am in training for two weeks!!), and now I am about to spend a few more hours working in VISIO--building my first flow chart in VISIO.

Came to the realization, again today, that I HAVE to eat well. HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO. Eating poorly is not only horrible for my body, but also for my mind! Way bad on me mentally. I went to the store tonight and bought good food, came home, washed it, and packaged it, so I can eat fruit and veggies during class tomorrow instead of Rice Krispy Treats, yogurt, and cookies. :)

I am coming up on a big changing point in ym life. I am either going to accept where I am with my job and my life, or I am going to change it. I miss feeling at peace.

Okay, on to working! Good night!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Working out while you are sick??

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/10/too.sick.to.work.out/index.html

Friday, March 13, 2009

Can't sleep

I stayed home from work today with bad cold/sore throat, cough, tired body syndrome. I was supposed to cleanse, but didn't. I started out the morning with a salt water flush, then wondered why was I going to cleanse in the middle of needing Mucinex and Benedryl? Duh. After 4 hours of cleansing, I had some soup. I will get there again, just not today. Maybe not even tomorrow. After resting quite a bit, I feel better energy-wise, but the stuffy nose and cough are still there.

I've taken two days off training. Everyone always tells me not to work out when Im sick. So I didn't. BUT--when I don't work out I feel like crap mentally....then I want to eat...blah blah blah. So tomorrow I am going to go to running clinic and then go indoor cycle some, easy. Sunday I will go run drills again and go to the nutrition talk for CWW.

I don't feel like I am part of the team. Probably because I never go to practices. That happens because I always feel like I'm on the go, since my commute is is at least 1.5 hours a day total. Must get over that. Shit, I must get over a lot.

My husband is in bed and thinks I am there, too. Instead, I am down here trying to clear my head, trying to make peace with myself.

Today sucked. Not like being at work sucky, but having to rest a bunch due to being sick. There are so many things around the house I NEED to do to make my life orderly and organized, and I never do it!! I hate chores--and I see a lot of stuff as a chore. But I can do some things even though I hate them. Like what??

My Jeep needs to be cleaned out--there are wrappers everywhere and a weeks' worth of random shit all over the front seat. I don't know how to keep my car clean. Very draining either way.

The garage needs to be cleaned out, on two levels. One, all of my shit that came out of the Jeep last week, and second, all the stuff that needs to be donated and I would soooo like to have a pretty, organized garage.

The front room needs to have my boxes of shit removed--a suitcase, a clothes hamper, and a box--all full of papers that I keep, and books, and all kinds of shit.

My bedroom needs to be reorganized and I MUST go through all the piles on the floor. DRIVES ME NUTS but going through it drives me nuts too.

I need to clean off my bathroom sink and the floor of all of my stuff. I have two sets of most things--one for my gym bag and one for home. You would think I could at least be organized for that. Nope. Shit everywhere.

My closet, again, needs to be cleaned out, all my clothes washed, hung up, etc....I HATE a messy closet, but yet I make mine messy ALL THE FREAKING time.

My brain is chaotic. My space is chaotic. I feel constantly on the verge of being too overwhelmed. BUT SOME OF IT IS MADE UP!! I don't know how to tell the difference between what I make up and what is real.

WHY CANT I KEEP THINGS ORDERLY AND ORGANIZED? Even the meds don't help as well as I was hoping for this! :)

I also have a project management class that I am taking online that has to be completed soon. That's been on my mind. There is one assignment that I am dreading, so it hasn't been completed yet. Only 9 more days to complete that class and take the final. Nervous about that, too.

Additionally, I can't get work off my mind--how much there is to do, how angry and frustrated I am with the place, frustrated that I can't seem to get the job I want, angry that I have so little faith in the words of people.

I'm frustrated because I am not doing my PT religiously. MUST start that tomorrow. I need a schedule! Should be easy, right? No kids, lots of freedom. Honestly, my head is full all the time, and that makes me feel overwhelmed, and then I can't follow a schedule to save myself from drowning. Weak ass excuse! I know.

So what do I need to do to get all of this done?

PT
Drills with CWW
BBQ for CF
Weekly schedule for working out/CF
Friends
Cook/portion
Laundry
PM class
bookmarks for twilight
clean kitchen
clean front room out


I can seriously make the list go on and on and on. I hate this part of my OCD mind.

I want to sleep, really. :)

I want to feel HAPPY again. It's not that I am unhappy, but more like numb. I have to pull myself out of this and get on with the show.

I want to feel like a triathlete again. Instead I feel lazy and unmotivated and out of control. JUST FOLLOW THE PLAN. That's all I can do right now. I try not to think too much about it, and just do it. All I have to do is do what I am told and the exercise/training will work. But I have to deal with the mental/emotional side.

I didn't think Eric being gone most of the week, every week, bothered me that much. I'm starting to think that maybe it is doing something to my mind that I am not aware of. People have told me that I sound down. Well, there are days, but it's not because Eric is gone. Hmmm...I don't know.

Maybe I need a sprint. Actually, I'll just do the sprint rehearsals. That will be fun. Maybe get me back in the groove.

The Benedryl is kicking in. Hopefully my eyes will close soon....

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Time to cleanse again, already....

I am starting another master cleanse tomorrow. I wasn't going to do one for a LONG time (as it's kind of hard to do). BUT---with the surgery, I'm sure I'm more than toxic, I'm sick (again), and my body doesn't want good food--only sugary foods. Good indication that it's time to cleanse.

Not sure how long I'm going for--I suppose I will know when I'm toxic-less enough. I also have some schedules to set and learn to stick to--training in the morning, PT at lunch, laundry on the weekends. Sounds simple, but it's hard for me to be structured, even though I want nothing more than to be that!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A "real" workout week!

Taking three weeks off of sports activity is both wonderul and painful. It's nice to find that there is more to life than running and lifting. I painted sun catchers (with one hand), made a wedding scrapbook for a friend (even with shoulder surgery), I bought some coloring books and markers and twistable crayons. I played. It was super. Oh, and I wrote a really long story that ends up to be three chapters of a little novel I am attempting to write. Butmy most favorite thing I did--i read the TWILIGHT saga in one week. IT WAS FABULOUS!

But, here we are today, and my childish play is over for the most part for most of the year! I anticipate a few more scrapbook parties, etc, but now it's time to run, swim, bike, lift, stretch, drill, change tires, cram into a wetsuit, get green hair from chlorine, and invest in multiple pairs of shoes. Somehow, that all sounds pretty exciting afterall. Whew. Maybe I am cut out for this life after all! HA!

Sunday I biked (stationary) for 45 minutes. Monday I went to CrossFit (and ended up running and doing squats). Today I made it to the gym and ran for 40 minutes. I was running 10 min/mile, and at 40 minutes I started to get dizzy, so I stepped off. No sense in passing out this early in the season.

All in all, not bad for returning from sitting on my ass having art class.

Gotta go now. I have some work to do and then get to bed early. I am attempting to swim tomorrow--not sure what time yet...oh yes, after work. I'll be working early in the morning. This is exciting---not even four weeks after surgery and I will be swimming!!! Doc said it would be around 6 weeks, so my healing is strong.

Oh, speaking of that. Physical therapy. Holy CRAP! I was told last year that physical therapy is part of my training, not a side thing. My PT told me if I don't do the exercises, I will not make it to IMAZ09. So.....One day I have about 13 shoulder exercises. The next day I have lower body and core (ankles, knees, SI Joint, hips, IT Band). <--no joke. Triathlon is seriously painful on my body. BUT, whatever. Everyone hurts somewhere and at sometime. I was told to get over it. It is what it is.

Hope training is going well for you all out there in blogger-land!

Goodnight!

Monday, March 9, 2009

And time marches on....

I have MISSED blogging! It's a past time I don't let myself do often because it feels like I should be doing more "important" things that recapping my life digitally...but I love doing it...so here I am. I can't stay long--have to go do some work.

On February 18 I had shoulder surgery at the advice of my 5 time Ironman surgeon. He said I probably wouldn't make it through the season, and by the July I couldn't have the surgery. So I've been out for three weeks now to kick ass later. I had a small tear, a bone spur and a nasty acromion hook. All better now. I ran today for the first time. Did 5 x 400m runs with max air squats between (at Crossfit). It kicked my ass. Shoulder is still tight and makes me run lopsided, but it's better than not being able to run. Only had a little bit of pain. Nothing major.

Saw Pete this past weekend. The topic this month to fix was my lack of motivation and lack of a plan (time schedule). For two days I have made my workouts, done my PT, and hit my water goals. It's time to get serious, right now. I had to have him set me straight. He did, kindly and compassionately. I chuncked my day into three pieces--morning, midday and night. I found I have way more time than I thought. I just have to "Weed my garden" and get rid of the unnecessary stuff. It is a sacrifice I must make.

I am still in a job I don't like, but I'm working on that. Today was a "hopeless' day at work, but tomorrow won't be. It's a pattern for me. Off and on.

Anyway, I am back and so glad! Time to start hitting the roads, the trails, and the lanes. It's time to get excited and back in the groove!

off to do some work--an indication of my unbalanced life, for today.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

A Brain Full...

As I sit here writing this novel post, I am once again faced with a serious realization. With triathlon comes a season of piled up laundry, more papers than usual strung out all over the place, packed schedules, frustration that there is not enough time, and focus. Or the amazing adventure of trying to find focus. There is never enough time. I must accept that fact and get on to prioritizing it. There is rarely enough focus, and that too must be prioritized.

Wow, I have so much to say.....and I should be doing laundry, picking up the house, packing, cleaning, organizing, and doing crossfit. I will beat myself up all season over this.

But since I'm here (which is amazingly hard to sit down for any extended period of time), I might as well let it all out.

I am on day #3 of the Master Cleanse. Pete Alfino of Mile High Multisport is coaching me in nutrition and a list of other things we have yet to get to. He suggested the cleanse and then start Paleo diet-type eating. I met Pete through a coworker (YAY DUANE!) and spent the day with him at Ironman Arizona 2008. I instantly knew he was right for me, when it comes to issues of discipline and focus. Oh wait, that's everything, right?! Pete is tough and I admire that greatly. So I went to Pete and told him I need him to yell at me. He hasn't had to yell at me yet but I'm sure the time will come. I know about eating right, to lose weight, for training, etc. My problem is that I don't know how to hold myself accountable....well, I know how, I just haven't figured out how to do it consistently. It's easiest and most successful for me to have someone to be accountable to. Pete is the no-bullshit person for the job!

Back to the cleanse----oh yes. End of day three. I've lost 3.5 pounds. I'm not screaming over the weight loss as I've read it comes back. But it's good to get the toxins and crao (literally) out of your system. Bad for metabolism, though. It's a good sacrifice, I think. Today I walked outside near some restaurants and it was like smelling food for the first time. AMAZING! My sense of smell seems to be refreshed. Maybe my allergies are better?? I'm still really phlemgy, though.

I'm doing Sunday through Saturday this time. Thursday and Friday I am traveling to Salt Lake for work, and am carting my cleanse stuff. Sunday I leave for Vegas for a week and I don't want to cart my shit there. :) I don't think I really want to test my willpower in vegas anyway. BUT, as soon as I off the cleanse I start Paleo, so that will keep me from overindulging in Vegas. As much as that sucks, it's awesome.

Training. All of my training has consisted of Crossfit, which is really intsense. I know it's helped me. I still feel guilty that I haven't done "TRI' specific training, though. My marathon plan starts February 9th. Until then I am supposed to take it "easy"....easy running, nothing crazy. On my cross training days I will be doing tri-specific workouts.

The gym by my house. Seriously, can all of the resolution people who are going to quit working out, PLEASE DO IT NOW? I went the gym down the street to run tonight at 8pm and it was FULL. So I biked and then ran for a little bit. My left quad was really tight and twingy, so I stopped and got off and stretched. That was really nice.

Ok, I have to go now.....

Saturday, January 3, 2009

2009: An energetic year!

I really believe 2009 is going to be the best year of my life so far. When I woke up on January 1, I breathed a sigh of relief....we had finally made it. 11 is my
'lucky' number this year!!! 2009 added up is 11. Ironman Arizona is on 11/22/2009, which is cool...11 for November, 22 is 2*11, and 2009 equals 11. I paid $551 dollars for IMAZ and that equals 11. I love numbers divisible by 11! In fact, I was born on the 11th day of March, 1977 (77!!) Cool stuff.

This year I also feel more confident in most areas of my life (work, self confidence, who I am, etc). I finally understand what some of my passions in life are, what makes me joyful, and what areas I would like to be stronger in. I also feel like I am finally getting my sh*t together with working out and eating. I had a really rough few months. My level of interest and commitment is looking up!

Spring is my favorite season, followed closely by fall. In the spring I feel new. I feel motivated and happy and ready to take on the world. Winter is really rough. This winter has not been as bad as most (yay for serotonin!!) but I still am not at a 100% level. Maybe it's good for me to be down a little, though. It keeps me from being a crazy busy person 365 days a year!

Today I started the ZONE meal plan. It's the meal plan of choice for Crossfit (www.mbscrossfit.com). There is nothing extreme or outrageous in it. I am committing to it without question for one month. then I will reassess how I feel.

Today has been a great day! I have eaten "in the zone", ran 2 miles, biked 2.3 (got bored), and did Crossfit. I have already consumed 55 oz of water, and will definitely reach 96 oz by bed time.

One day at a time. One hour, one second, one choice at a time. Success comes from a thousand small decisions made correctly. It's worked for me in the past when I lost 42 pounds! Being an all or nothing person, it's hard to remember the importance of incremental action, but that is really the only thing that is going to get the weight off AND mmost importantly, get me across the finish line at IMAZ09.