All things running (including my brain running away)

Been thinking a lot. About life. About training. About work. About family. About friends. About strengths and overcoming obstacles within my own mind.

Today I ran a 4.5 mile trail run with Heather in Estes Park. It was crazy. I thought I would run faster than I did, but I thought the hills were going to be easier than they were. Some of the hills were hard to WALK up. On a good day most of the hills would have been a nice hiking workout. I didn't want to walk, but I did, and while I was walking I told myself: "This, too,is exercise. You are at altitude, on a hill, with burning legs and burning lungs. This is working. You are getting stronger. This is changing you as a runner." Indeed I did do things I've never done. I picked a chick out and decided that I wanted to keep up with her, even if it hurt. During that time my only reason for being at the race was to teach myself to compete. To stay with the pack. To be competitive. I sped up when she sped up. She got ahead of me. I caught her. Eventually, on one of those hills, I past her. I beat her to the finish line. Maybe that would not have been the case if she had known we were racing. :) Maybe I had an unfair advantage with the knowledge I had. But that little exercise in competition strengthened me. I wanted to know what it felt like to compete and I got it. I want to do it again. Maybe I want to be competitive now. I read stories all the time about people going out there on the road, or in the water, or wherever and doing amazing things. Why not me?

I also ran fast today, when I could. I pushed myself. I didn't save energy for later. I used it when I had it, knowing I would get more when I needed it. Run up a small hill, knowing the downside would be recovery. I picked people off and beat them. I chased them down. They chased me down, too. I sprinted when before I would have only jogged. I passed people when before I would have been too afraid of being tired later. I sprinted the last quarter mile. It was all downhill...beautifully downhill. I ran and ran and ran. I wasn't going to stop. I saw the finish line...thank god, I thought. Breakfast. Coffee. Rest. It was a hard race but I got a lot out of it. :)